Moose A. Moose: Zee, I really want my present now.
Zee: (on the outside) *blinks repeatedly*
(on the inside) “Mothafucka, you gon’ wait fo’ yo’ present like the rest of us eager niggas.”
If it’s some stranger:
If it’s my best friend:
If you’re fat and ask me if you’re fat and tell me to tell the truth, don’t expect me to be generous and lie like your dumbass friends. if you’re fat, i will tell you you’re fat. moral of the story: ask me a question you want to hear the answer to. And lose some weight you obese son of a bitch.
What I Hate the Most: when you see a post on tumblr and think “oh man this is gonna be awesome” and then the text on the picture is too small so you just give up and move on to the next post…never to return to that deceiving post again.